My post 10 Reasons Why People Don't Go To Church struck a chord with many. The first reason I gave for why people don't go to church is because, frankly, many think Christians are judgmental, negative and critical. I want to ask you, is it true?
One young lady once said, 'I don't like working in the cafe on a Sunday,
because that's the day the Christians come in.' I had to double check that what
she was saying was true. She wasn’t making it up. I wish she was. She was
adamant. When the ‘Christians’ came into the café in which she worked, they
were demanding, picky, negative and demeaning. I was thinking I could argue and
say, ‘Well, that’s just your perception of Christians.’ I could have argued
that point, the problem was, however, that her perception was an accurate view of
reality.
We have all seen the bad caricatures of Christians in secular
media; depicted as outdated and irrelevant people, wearing weird clothing.
Well, this lady’s view of Christians was true. In this particular incident,
Christians were negative and rude. Now
one desires to defend the Christian faith, and its poor representation, but at
times, one must simply admit, that these followers of Jesus let the team down.
Sometimes Christians are very judgmental; sometimes we simply appear to be so.
Let me clarify for
you, before you move on to washing your car, making dinner and putting the kids
in bed. People of Christian faith are regularly making moral judgments about
what is going on in their reality and in their world.
Though one must surely distinguish
between being judgmental and making judgments.
See, to make a judgment is to
merely discern the appropriate action to a particular problem and to form an
opinion. Being judgmental is technically one who is simply making a judgment,
but is usually used with a negative connotation; that is, ‘someone is being
judgmental.’
When a Christian makes a judgment that need not mean she is being
judgmental in the negative sense. For instance, I recall a time a few of us
were sitting in a local fast food restaurant and we were chatting about
leadership. Then we got on to the topic of allowing people to become Christian
ministers, and the process in which that happens. The topic got quite heated as
we discussed what really mattered in the scheme of things when it came to ordaining
someone for Christian ‘Full-time’ Ministry. Then some blurted out, ‘Well, it’s
not our place to be judge!’
I thought about this for a moment. Wait a minute, it is someone’s place
to make a judgment. Say Johnny Smith puts his hands up to become a Clergyman,
after some of his previous professions hadn’t gone too well. He’s out of work
and sees an opportunity. Now, I’m not saying Johnny shouldn’t be able to become
a Priest, but the fact is, someone needs to make a judgment call at some point.
Should Johnny be able to become a priest? It is not judgmental in a negative
way, to go through the right processes, of prayer, background checks,
psychological testing, interviews and the like to make a ‘judgment’ about
Johnny’s capacity or otherwise to do the job he feels called to do.
Christians make judgments. Well, we all make judgments. We make
decisions on whether we will buy that new jumper, or wear the old one in the
cupboard. We decide if we’ll take out that loan or not, and we decide whether
we’re going to eat out and cook at home again for another night. Employers make
judgments about employees. Politicians make judgments about new policies.
Farmers make judgments about how they’ll prepare their crop. Dancers make
judgments on their choreography.
The issue then, is not that Christians make judgments or are judgmental
(in the strict sense of the word), but there’s something else at play.
Could it be that what infuriates unbelievers the most, is not so much
that Christian’s have a say about a particular topic, but rather it’s the
content of what they say that annoys them. So, it’s then, not so much that
Christians make judgments but it’s what they find to be so important in life
that drives others crazy.
Let me go down this rabbit warren for a moment. Most people, in secular
democratic societies today are big on free speech. You have a right to speak
your mind, and you have a right to a particular ideology. You have human rights
and that affords you the luxury of choosing which way you lean politically,
creating your own view on the environment and making an opinion about the
latest music.
Though you have a right to speak what is important to you, that doesn’t
mean people are going to like what you say. Often when someone hears something
that challenges their foundational belief system, one feels offended and
taken-aback. That’s when you hear, ‘Stop being judgmental.’
Wait a second: If
your belief system is challenged, the other person may not be intending to be ‘judgmental’,
but is probably just them making particular comments about the aspects of the
beliefs to which they have a different view.
So there’s a difference from being negative and judgmental to offering
up an opinion that runs in stark contrast to the one listening.
Here’s the challenge for communities of faith today. Our views and forthright opinions that we
express in church communities can come across as judgmental to those listening.
That may not be because we are purposefully being antagonistic, but rather,
that what the listener is hearing, is so at odds with their own world-view, it
appears judgmental and harsh.
How do we deal with this issue? Is it simply the work of the Holy Spirit
to convince those that hear what we say has validity?
Does that then mean it doesn’t matter how forthright we share the message of
Christ and the Kingdom of God to a yet-to-be-Christian?
If we head
down the track that it is entirely the work of the Spirit to convince someone
of the credibility of the Gospel story, then we excuse ourselves from any part
that we play. One has to admit, we surely play a part. We are responsible for:
- What we communicate to others
- How we communicate that message to others
- How we conduct our day-to-day lives
- How we express compassion to another
- How we respond to negativity ourselves
- How we introduce aspects of our faith story with an unbeliever
It is the
role of the Holy Spirit to guide people into all truth[i]
but it the role of the believer to creatively and compassionately live out and
proclaim a message of hope to the world. Christians cannot abdicate their
responsibility to be salt and light in the world, and cannot shirk from the
accountability God puts on us to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly
with God.[ii]
People would surely seek to be part of churches if they were places that overflowed
with respect, love and compassion and were communities that acknowledged people
are on a journey of discovering the truth of God. We must show respect and
love in the process.
I don't mean to judge, but Christians can be negative, pessimistic and judgmental. We need to show another way.
The way of Christ.
